geoffrmsy:

dekutree:

tbh I don’t see the fuss about having waiters/waitresses not being happy and enthusiastic like I came here to eat I didn’t come here to be amused by employees as long as I’m getting my food and they’re not being blatantly rude I don’t see why y’all need to go on yelp to rank a restaurant 0/5 and have an outburst on why your waitress didn’t smile at you when she poured you water

this is pretty fucking important

(via doctorsherlokid)

@3 hours ago with 77674 notes

lostoncementtrails:

squiddious:

cheezy98151:

sam-winchester-cries-during-sex:

foodchewer:

*hides good snacks from family members*

there’s a word for thatimage

hello my name is maggie and im a defensive eater..

hello maggie and welcome to defensive eaters anonymous now who took all the cookies

That would be the most stressful meeting to supply snacks for.

(via sayswowalot)

@4 hours ago with 329990 notes

"Stop defining yourself by what you can’t do."

Burrich, Royal Assassin-Robin Hobb (via snkrfnd)

(via realmoftheelderlings)

@4 hours ago with 125 notes
#robin hobb #books #words 
gallifrey-feels:

runandhideinanothermind:

revisitnormal:

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:


Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
 Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.



No, but you forgot the best one
Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room

Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.

Nostradamus oh my god

gallifrey-feels:

runandhideinanothermind:

revisitnormal:

ramirezbundydahmer:

Famous Last Words:

  • Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
  • I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
  • I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
  • I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
  • Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
  • I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
  • Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
  •  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
  • Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
  • It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
  • LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
  • You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
  • No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
  • I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
  • Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
  • Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
  • Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
  • Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

No, but you forgot the best one

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room

Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.

Nostradamus oh my god

(via alovelycommodity)

@4 hours ago with 189754 notes

ofwintersoldiersandhawkeyes:

but it’s a price I’m willing pay

(Source: soldvt, via pippintook)

@4 hours ago with 2716 notes
#captain america 
@4 hours ago with 6962 notes

traversi:

shimmervee:

everyone’s all for genderfluid cecil but have you ever considered genderfluid carlos

"are you a boy or are you a girl?" "no no, i’m a scientist"

"So uh is that Mr. or Mrs.?"
"Doctor."

(via mockerymademusic)

@4 hours ago with 45439 notes

khaleesiofhale:

deanckles:

I want a story about a gay girl disguising herself as a guy to get into an all boy school. When she meets her roommate, he happens to have a banging personality and a very pleasing face. The girl has a sexuality crisis because she starts to fall for the roommate but in reality, the roommate is actually another girl disguised as a guy so that she can attend the school

#the entire school is just gay girls dressed as guys in hopes of attending the school (via buttergin)

(via pippintook)

@15 hours ago with 30081 notes

(Source: nymeriya, via pippintook)

@3 hours ago with 11017 notes
#star trek #tos 

(Source: intimate-e, via sayswowalot)

@4 hours ago with 2762 notes

dadtier:

"cool story babe now go make me a sandwich"

image

(via alovelycommodity)

@4 hours ago with 19814 notes

zanetheaiden:

In case nobody has said it today, I’m proud of you. You’ve done well, and even if you made a mistake, that’s okay.

(via pippintook)

@4 hours ago with 1400 notes
WiFi:connected
Me:then fucking act like it
@4 hours ago with 230578 notes

http://doctorsherlokid.tumblr.com/post/93382315059/fegeleh-nomoremissnicebi-how-about-centaurs 

fegeleh:

nomoremissnicebi:

How about centaurs as bisexual parallels, though?

Can’t you just picture a centaur like, “What did you just call me? ‘Half human, half horse’? Ex-fucking-scuse me, I am ALL centaur!”

And just, constantly having people define you in terms of things that…

@4 hours ago with 6443 notes

marathemara:

iizanimeaddict:

My dad just came into my room and shouted at me in Klingon.

Am I more embarrassed that he did that or that I know he said I was a disappointment to the empire?

You should be most embarrassed that you’re a disappointment to the empire.

(via krazykitsune)

@4 hours ago with 133610 notes